When and where were you born?
I was born in Chicago, land of the most amazing pizza on earth, and the 8-month long winter. According to my kids, I was born shortly after dinosaurs roamed the earth. With as achy as I feel when I wake up in the morning, they might just be right. Also, I was raised in Chicagoland, not in a barn. (My parents made sure I knew this growing up.)
What is your family situation (married, kids, etc.)?
I was married for 18 years, but have been divorced now for 4. I have half a dozen kids, and on a good day I even remember their names and ages.
How did you manage to have six kids with an equal number of girls and boys AND going in alternating order?
I planned it that way.
What is the biggest challenge to having six children?
It’s a toss-up between getting caught up on laundry, keeping food in the house, spending enough time with each child, and trying to figure out ‘who did it’.
How do you handle being a single mom to six kids and working full-time?
I don’t. I can never take care of everything. Something always slides. I sometimes end the day curled up in a fetal position, muttering to myself. But then I wake up and do it all over again.
How do you manage to find quiet time for yourself?
Ha ha ha ha ho ho hee hee hee! Oh, that’s a good one! I think I pulled something from laughing too hard. I might have peed my pants a little too. I have had 6 kids after all . . .
Now that you’re single, have you thought about dating?
I’ve thought about it, but I’m convinced every single guy out there is a serial killer. Besides, dating could lead to marriage and I’m pretty sure I’d rather drive off a cliff than to ever share a bathroom with someone again.
When did you start your blog?
I started my blog on June 29, 2007. Holy cow, I’m coming up on 7 years! Sheesh, I should probably have a party or something. Maybe invite my boyfriends, Ty Pennington and Brendan Fraser. (I would invite Heath Ledger too, but he had to go and die, leaving an opening for a third boyfriend.) I’ll invite Ellen Degeneres and Bill Cosby too because let’s face it, they’re awesome. Oh and I’d invite Phineas and Ferb also. I know they’re cartoons and all, but they’re pretty cool. And Matchbox 20 would provide the music. And we’ll have wine. And cake. And did I mention wine?
What inspires your humor?
Mainly, my kids inspire my humor. When they were young, I figured I could take a page from the animal kingdom and eat them, I could curl up in a fetal position and rock back and forth while singing London Bridges, or I could find the humor and laugh about the things that were sure to land me in a “special hospital” eventually. My kids have always cracked me up and they provide me with plenty of material on a daily basis. These days, I try to translate the overwhelming stress of being a single mom to 6 kids into humor. There’s just something about having the ability to make other people laugh at me that makes me feel better.
Do you have any writing projects in the works?
Currently, I’m doing research for my new book. “Doing research” is my way of saying, “Thinking about writing another book, yet not moving past the first chapter because I’m too busy trying to invent a cloning device, a teleportation machine, and a coffee IV.”
What are your favorite blog posts?
Oh gosh, that’s a tough one since everything I write is Comedy Gold! Ha! Let’s see . . . the post I wrote about grocery shopping that brought my blog to fame is a classic. And I still have people email me about my colonoscopy post. There’s nothing like the feeling of knowing that all sorts of random people have read the intimate details of your explosive diarrhea.